Saturday, January 7, 2012
Mushy Muscles
A few Saturdays ago I realized that all Alyssa had done was watch TV.... I mean, like, 4 hours worth! I had a huge problem with it. Every good parent knows that too much TV will turn your kids brain (and muscle mass) to mush! ;) So, I came up with a solution. I cut up a bunch of squares of paper and wrote time frames on them (5 minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 movie) and I put 1 hours worth of minutes and 1 movie in a jar. I told Alyssa that she could lose and earn TV minutes based on her behavior, and if she's out of time there's no more TV until she earns more. We've been doing this for a little over a week and it has worked beautifully so far. She's rode her bike instead of using her TV time on more than one occassion, which made me a happy Mama! Love it!
Family Meetings...
As the New Year was approaching, Jeremiah and I began talking about where our family is, where we want to go this year & beyond. We always want to have goals that we're working towards. Our main goal this year is to grow closer together as a family.
It has been a tough road for us to adapt and adjust over the past three years. It's been such a complicated journey. From thinking we were just temporarily fostering the girls to deciding to adopt them. Since their father's rights were terminated and we moved towards adoption, Jer and I have seen and felt a change. As each day passes it gets easier and easier. Our family feels more and more complete. But for the longest time we could see Alyssa struggling. It has been the hardest on her and it breaks my heart to watch. Alexis was only 4 1/2 months old when she moved in. She doesn't know any other parents besides Jeremiah and myself. She's seen the pictures of my sister that we have around the house and knows it's her mother. But she hasn't even begun to understand what that means. It's just useless knowledge as of now. Her father has been in & out of jail & rehab her entire life. She doesn't remember him. Alexis doesn't know the things she's been through, which is lucky for her. But Alyssa was 3 1/2. She has the memory of an elephant! She remembers my sister, she remembers her Dad. She feels the loss of the family that should have been. She doesn't understand why she can't live with them or why she was placed in our home. There are definitely times (especially when she has to clean her room or gets into trouble, etc) that I can tell she blames Jeremiah and I. She thinks we have the "power" to let her live with her Dad or not. It's so sad to watch her be so young and confused and hurt all at the same time. That's why Jer & I decided that if our family has any hope at being the family we dream of, we had to make some changes...
I saw this pin on pinterest for a family memory jar. You write down fun things, outings & memories on little pieces of paper, fold them up and keep them in a jar (or whatever). Then, on New Years you go through and read them all. It's a really fun way to reminisce about the great family times you had that year. I loved the idea and wanted to do it, so I started thinking of meaningful ways we could kick it off. That's when I thought of the family meeting. We sat down as a family and each took turns talking about the things we didn't like last year (2011). We talked about things that hurt our feelings, things that weren't fun and different experiences we had that we didn't like. We got some really important stuff talked out and even helped Alyssa grasp the concept of "moving forward" with her life and not hanging onto the past. We acknowledged and validated her feelings of loss and grief over the family she should have had, but never would. We talked about how "moving on" didn't mean forgetting her biological parents at all, but it meant she's able to remember the happy times with her mother and how awesome it was that she could still talk to and have visits with her Father, but how she can also accept and be okay with becoming a Candelaria.We tried our best to use words and concepts she understands. It was like a mini counseling session and I couldn't believe how great it went! We talked about things we loved in 2011 and wanted to bring into or do again this year. We also brainstormed different ideas that we could do as a family this year. I wrote everything down as we went along and we folded and put the paper in our 2012 jar. We agreed that good communication is very important in our family, so we're going to have monthly family meetings. We'll talk about current issues, things that aren't going so well and things that are going great. I have really high hopes for it! The past week since our meeting has been the best week our family has had in the past 3 years. Alyssa's attitude has done a complete 360. She is much more loving, more cooperative, more excited for life and multiple times has said: "I like moving on!" I can tell a weight has been lifted off her shoulders and she doesn't feel torn between two lives anymore. I'm so happy for her. I'm happy for our family & where we could be this time next year! I can't believe we didn't think of this sooner!
It has been a tough road for us to adapt and adjust over the past three years. It's been such a complicated journey. From thinking we were just temporarily fostering the girls to deciding to adopt them. Since their father's rights were terminated and we moved towards adoption, Jer and I have seen and felt a change. As each day passes it gets easier and easier. Our family feels more and more complete. But for the longest time we could see Alyssa struggling. It has been the hardest on her and it breaks my heart to watch. Alexis was only 4 1/2 months old when she moved in. She doesn't know any other parents besides Jeremiah and myself. She's seen the pictures of my sister that we have around the house and knows it's her mother. But she hasn't even begun to understand what that means. It's just useless knowledge as of now. Her father has been in & out of jail & rehab her entire life. She doesn't remember him. Alexis doesn't know the things she's been through, which is lucky for her. But Alyssa was 3 1/2. She has the memory of an elephant! She remembers my sister, she remembers her Dad. She feels the loss of the family that should have been. She doesn't understand why she can't live with them or why she was placed in our home. There are definitely times (especially when she has to clean her room or gets into trouble, etc) that I can tell she blames Jeremiah and I. She thinks we have the "power" to let her live with her Dad or not. It's so sad to watch her be so young and confused and hurt all at the same time. That's why Jer & I decided that if our family has any hope at being the family we dream of, we had to make some changes...
I saw this pin on pinterest for a family memory jar. You write down fun things, outings & memories on little pieces of paper, fold them up and keep them in a jar (or whatever). Then, on New Years you go through and read them all. It's a really fun way to reminisce about the great family times you had that year. I loved the idea and wanted to do it, so I started thinking of meaningful ways we could kick it off. That's when I thought of the family meeting. We sat down as a family and each took turns talking about the things we didn't like last year (2011). We talked about things that hurt our feelings, things that weren't fun and different experiences we had that we didn't like. We got some really important stuff talked out and even helped Alyssa grasp the concept of "moving forward" with her life and not hanging onto the past. We acknowledged and validated her feelings of loss and grief over the family she should have had, but never would. We talked about how "moving on" didn't mean forgetting her biological parents at all, but it meant she's able to remember the happy times with her mother and how awesome it was that she could still talk to and have visits with her Father, but how she can also accept and be okay with becoming a Candelaria.We tried our best to use words and concepts she understands. It was like a mini counseling session and I couldn't believe how great it went! We talked about things we loved in 2011 and wanted to bring into or do again this year. We also brainstormed different ideas that we could do as a family this year. I wrote everything down as we went along and we folded and put the paper in our 2012 jar. We agreed that good communication is very important in our family, so we're going to have monthly family meetings. We'll talk about current issues, things that aren't going so well and things that are going great. I have really high hopes for it! The past week since our meeting has been the best week our family has had in the past 3 years. Alyssa's attitude has done a complete 360. She is much more loving, more cooperative, more excited for life and multiple times has said: "I like moving on!" I can tell a weight has been lifted off her shoulders and she doesn't feel torn between two lives anymore. I'm so happy for her. I'm happy for our family & where we could be this time next year! I can't believe we didn't think of this sooner!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Makeup palette
I love makeup, I really do... My favorite is MAC. The eyeshadows are so pigmented and beautiful. The only problem is that the individual eyeshadow pots take up a lot of room in my makeup box. I made the mistake of getting the pots instead of the magnetic ones to keep nicely organized in a palette. So I decided to do something about it...
Here is my messy collection minus a few stragglers:
I purchased a palette and a few fun colors a while ago. It looked like this:
Here is my messy collection minus a few stragglers:
I purchased a palette and a few fun colors a while ago. It looked like this:
I found a tutorial on YouTube by "PrettyTips" called: "How to NEATLY De-pot MAC eyeshadows, and still be able to BACK-to MAC it"
It was simple enough and totally worked for me!
Here is my new palette:
So much more organized! & I looooove organization!! ;)
All things new!
HAAAAAAAPPPPPPYYYYY NEW YEAR! I haven't blogged in forever! So much has been going on in the Candelaria household. The holidays were especially busy, as I'm sure everyone else's was as well. We're "lucky" enough to have a million family members (haha) so we had FIVE different Christmas celebrations in two days. The kids were spoiled rotten and Santa didn't forget about Jer or I, either ;)
We spent New Years with some old friends & their kids. I love how easy it was to be around them. The kids had a blast and they all got along great, which made for a stress-free night. The kids even made it to midnight & beyond! There was a ton of food, an exciting game of Cranium & all the "just dance 3" we could handle! It was crazy to think about the "old times" we had way back in high school & then look around at each others spouses and kids! Such a reminder about how fast time really goes by!
Jer & I had begun to feel like big things were around the corner coming into the new year. We were offered a great opportunity in ministry where the salary and free private school for our kids looked pretty appealing. But in the end we chose not to take it. We didn't feel right about doing it when our hearts weren't fully there. After we turned it down we were really excited. We didn't know why, but we both had a crazy feeling that changes (for the better) were coming. A few days later we got a phone call with another opportunity. All the details aren't "hashed out" just yet, but we are beyond excited about it! It would be such an awesome opportunity for our whole family. One that I believe will bring us closer as a family and couldn't be better timed. We've always known that God's plans are perfect, but we're seeing it first-hand right now! So very exciting! (More on this soon ;)
The "big cooking day" was such a success and made my life so much easier that I did it again this month. I ditched the recipes that weren't a big hit, tweaked the ones that needed tweaking, kept the ones we loved, and added a few new ones to the mix. I know it may sound super dumb, but it makes me so happy to know my family is eating meals they really enjoy which are also good for them. We usually have enough leftovers for a lunch throughout the week, so we're really getting our moneys worth as well!
I've also been doing something new with the laundry! I know this may be old news to most moms... But it was a "eureka!" moment for me when I realized it! I do one load of laundry per day! Haha... Yep, wash, dry, fold (for the girls I roll outfits together so they can dress themselves easily) and put away! I used to try to do laundry once a week, and it was so overwhelming! I had a million to do and I felt like I could never stay on top of it! But the past month or so that I've been doing this has been so much easier. We never have more than one load a day and it doesn't take much time at all. SUCCESS!! I even find myself washing the bedding more often because of how much time I've freed up. I always love when I find easier ways to accomplish my "mommy chores" ;) Have any more shortcut tips or tricks? Share them with me!
We spent New Years with some old friends & their kids. I love how easy it was to be around them. The kids had a blast and they all got along great, which made for a stress-free night. The kids even made it to midnight & beyond! There was a ton of food, an exciting game of Cranium & all the "just dance 3" we could handle! It was crazy to think about the "old times" we had way back in high school & then look around at each others spouses and kids! Such a reminder about how fast time really goes by!
Jer & I had begun to feel like big things were around the corner coming into the new year. We were offered a great opportunity in ministry where the salary and free private school for our kids looked pretty appealing. But in the end we chose not to take it. We didn't feel right about doing it when our hearts weren't fully there. After we turned it down we were really excited. We didn't know why, but we both had a crazy feeling that changes (for the better) were coming. A few days later we got a phone call with another opportunity. All the details aren't "hashed out" just yet, but we are beyond excited about it! It would be such an awesome opportunity for our whole family. One that I believe will bring us closer as a family and couldn't be better timed. We've always known that God's plans are perfect, but we're seeing it first-hand right now! So very exciting! (More on this soon ;)
The "big cooking day" was such a success and made my life so much easier that I did it again this month. I ditched the recipes that weren't a big hit, tweaked the ones that needed tweaking, kept the ones we loved, and added a few new ones to the mix. I know it may sound super dumb, but it makes me so happy to know my family is eating meals they really enjoy which are also good for them. We usually have enough leftovers for a lunch throughout the week, so we're really getting our moneys worth as well!
I've also been doing something new with the laundry! I know this may be old news to most moms... But it was a "eureka!" moment for me when I realized it! I do one load of laundry per day! Haha... Yep, wash, dry, fold (for the girls I roll outfits together so they can dress themselves easily) and put away! I used to try to do laundry once a week, and it was so overwhelming! I had a million to do and I felt like I could never stay on top of it! But the past month or so that I've been doing this has been so much easier. We never have more than one load a day and it doesn't take much time at all. SUCCESS!! I even find myself washing the bedding more often because of how much time I've freed up. I always love when I find easier ways to accomplish my "mommy chores" ;) Have any more shortcut tips or tricks? Share them with me!
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